Make Over Time!

I'm very excited the blog is getting a make over! I just put my order in for a new background. The current one is so uninspired. I can't wait until it's all done and I can share it with everyone!

Destiny

I know its late and I am usually more organized than this but I had a bit of an off day yesterday and it crept in to today. I have been having a bit of trouble lately getting motivated and something happened yesterday that threw me for a loop.

Let me start at the beginning: In April I ended a four year relationship with the only man my Little Man has known as a father figure.  Little Man's biological father has never been in the picture and when I met the man he now calls dad I was so happy.  I thought for sure he was 'the one' I allowed him into our small family and let him get close to both of us.  As a single parent I am very guarded with who meets my son.  Its just easier that way.

Unfortunately things didn't work out in this fairy tale and I had to end it. It was mutual however I was forced to be the bad guy and be the one to walk away.  In the end we were both so unhappy that it was a huge relief when it was finally over. I was literally walking on air when it was finally finished because I felt I could be myself again and finally realized how much I had been brought down in the end.

Fast forward a couple of months and reality hit.  It hit hard. I realized that I was 32 and no closer to an actual grown up relationship and although I had been in a relationship for 4 years I was no less lonely. The relationship was a long distance one and I spent most of the time alone. Regardless of being alone I had still lost my best friend. My boyfriend was the one I shared everything with and truly thought of him as my best friend.

When June hit I went into a depression.  I could feel it coming on and tried my hardest to not fall victim to it but eventually I got tired of fighting it and just went with it.  I literally didn't leave the house for days. I tried my hardest to be as happy as possible for the little man but I just couldn't bring myself to leaving the house and going back into society.

Finally about a week ago some friends came over and started to rally around me and forced me out of the house.  Knowing I had great friends to stand behind me I felt like I could do it and pull through.  That is when fate starting throwing things at me.

First my mom calls me from the store and tells me how she saw my high school boyfriend and his new wife and kids. If that wasn't bad enough in my lonely state she has to go on and on about how she wished I had married him.  Fine fate is cruel I told myself go ahead remind me about being a spinster forever I will try and move on.  But then Sunday happened.

I decided that it was time to leave the house again and do something. Since it has been warm here I decided to take the Little Man to the swim center. We met our very good friends who have two girls the same age as the little man. 

While we were I saw a man I have been waiting almost 7 years to see again.  It was an old boyfriend, but not just any old boyfriend, the old boyfriend. The one that I always thought I would end up with. The one I loved the most out of any boy I had ever known. And who was he with? That's right his wife and kids.

But that is not the worst part, the worst part was where he pretended he didn't really remember me.  I guess he was trying to play it cool for the wife but it was devastating to me that I couldn't at least hug him Hello.  I thought great why is fate throwing me being alone in my face again.

We left the swim center after a full day of swimming and I thought "That's it I'm taking to the house again and possibly the bed." Because how can one person endure so many slaps like this. I feel so alone and here I keep seeing people I was once happy with happy with someone else.

I started really deeply thinking about why I saw this man and why the other boyfriend came back into my life at this particular time. They both live very close to me so how was it that I hadn't ever seen them before.  Then it hit me, something just clicked inside.

I didn't see these men because fate wanted to rub in my face that I was alone, I was being shown that these doors were closed to me.  I had always tucked both these men in the back of my mind as back up plans. You know if nothing else worked out I would be reunited with either one of these guys.

I have realized now that this isn't my Destiny.  These men didn't work out because that's not how my life is supposed to turn out. Honestly when I figured this out it was such a relief. 

The second I figured out that the door was closed on my past I felt as if the door to my future and my Destiny opened up before me. I really feel now like something great is going to happen for me, even if it's not a man. Maybe being single is what I am supposed to be, but if it is there is a reason for it and soon I will find that reason.

Its also freeing to realize that there is a plan for me and to know that there is nothing I can do to hurry it up. No amount of stressing or wanting it to happen sooner will make it happen.  The door is open for me, now I just have to walk through it.

Birthday's and High Hopes

So today is my mom's birthday (Happy Birthday Mom!) and I had such high hopes for the day.  We went to breakfast which was nice and I made her a cake for after dinner.  This is where I had the highest of hopes.  I wanted to make something similar to the cover of Sugarlicious.

She loves flamingo's and I thought what a cute cake I could make for her and I would just add more flamingos and nix the gnome.  In my mind the cake looks exactly like the one on the cover.  Here is what it looks like in real life.

Not nearly as tall or as grand as the professional one.  But not an epic fail either.  Every time I make something I always feel like those 'Nailed It' pictures on Pinterest.  You know the ones where they show what something is supposed to look like and then a picture of just a hot mess. 

Like this:



I don't know if my aspirations are too high for my skill level, or I don't have the right tools, or I'm not as artistic as I want to be.  Maybe the problem is that I just need more practice.  Maybe the writers of all the cookbooks I covet started out like me.  And maybe their first cakes weren't perfect either. 

Either way I am still going to continue on and subject my family to my trials because most importantly I love at least trying.  And maybe on my one year blog anniversary I will have made something worthy of the pros.

Cheap and Easy Art

I just found the greatest website ever! Its called Tagexdo.  Have you heard about it? If not check it out, its amazing!

It turns words into a beautifully arranged shape. I know that sounds weird let me explain: Take any words, like a song or a speech, and enter them into Tagexdo.  Then you pick a shape like a heart or a thought bubble and the program spits out a nice printable piece of art. 

This is sounding weird let me just show you. I did this one with the lyrics to the Taylor Swift song 'Hey Stephen'.

I love it! Especially the part where Stephen is the biggest word. (The little man's name is Stephen, that's why I chose this).  From there I just printed it out and stuck it in a frame I got from Ikea and put it on the wall in my office.

I have been looking for some wall decorations for my empty office walls but with a budget of $0 I haven't been able to find anything.  This is perfect! And when I get tired of this one I can just hop back on the site and print out another one.

Ok one more example then I will let you get to your creations.  I used the lyrics to 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' for this one.

Linked up here:

My entry into the Share It Link Party at The Winthrop Chronicles is sponsored by Appliances Online and their best Range Cookers.

Exciting Day!

Today is a very exciting day! Why you ask? Because today is little man's first every swim practice with the swim team.

About a year ago he started taking private lessons from the coach of the team.  He over came some really big obstacles, he was afraid to put his face in the water.  But now he is a big man on the swim team.

Last week his coach said he was ready so I immediately signed him up.  I couldn't be a prouder momma if I tried.  Now instead of a soccer mom I have become a swim mom.  Which is great because I love swimming. I am so glad that I was able to pass my love for the water on to him.

Now to get out my big slow cooker cookbook.  I am going to need it for quick dinners after practice.  Someone is going to get very hungry, very quickly.

The most inspirational member of my family

I have to introduce you to a very important member of our family.  My four year old Chihuahua, Turbo.  Turbo is not your typical Chihuahua, trust me.  He is not yappy at all, nor is he mean.  He is the sweetest boy you would ever want to meet.

I mean really look at that face, and the tongue hanging out just a little.  Precious!  Now you may ask why is Turbo such an inspiration.  Well let me tell you his story:

I had been thinking about getting another chihuahua, I had one before the little man, for about 6 months.  Almost every weekend we would go to the pet store and look at the rescue dogs.  But I never found one that seemed to be right.  Then one Saturday almost a year ago my mom called me to come down and take a look at this Chihuahua she had found. 

I was skeptical when we drove down and I saw him.  He was soo tiny, only 6 pounds.  I didn't know how well he fit into our family.  But I took him for a walk on a leash and he was beautifully behaved.  I thought ok this is it this dog has chosen us. 

On that first walk I noticed he had a small limp.  It was almost unnoticeable it was so slight, I called it the hitch in his giddy up.  I inquired to the rescue about it and they said that he was surrendered to a vet and the people that owned him had said he was hit by a car.  They wanted to have him put down. 

The vet took x-rays but didn't find any trauma.  So he was sent on to the rescue. We were assured that he had no problems and that we could talk to the vet and look at the xrays ourselves.  Since he was in no clear pain and since the hitch didn't seem to bother him I took him home.

Over the next few months I walked him a little at a time to build up his stamina.  After about 2 months the hitch was all but gone.  We took him back to the pet store one day when the rescue was there and they were amazed at how well he was walking.

I just realized this is a long story.  I will have to break it up.  Come back another day to find out just what makes Turbo so inspirational.

Cloudy Days and Birthdays

I know that I live in California and I shouldn't complain. But its cold today and overcast. Its not really what I would call a beautiful summer day in July. I have had a jacket on all day. Since it's depressing outside I'm staying in under the covers and on Pinterest. It's a good thing that Friday is my mom's birthday. Now I have a mission for my pins. Since it's so gloomy outside I am going to find something nice and cheery to make. I love this cake but I wonder how much my mom will like it.



Since there are only three of us I would only make one layer.  Any more and I would go into a cake coma.

Now here is an easy cake that I know my mom would love.



Although I have been wanting to make this cake for awhile but haven't found the perfect occasion yet.  Maybe Friday is the day.



I guess since I can't make up my mind it's back to Pinterest I go.  Any one have any suggestions or words of wisdom for me? I get so overwhelmed by my love of cake.